Christians Made a Horror Film About a Haunted Box of Porn

Over the past few years, a Christian called Rich Praytor has been making a found-footage-style horror film called HarmlessHarmless is about a loving, honest, God-fearing American family that is infiltrated by a demonic box of porn, which, when opened, unleashes a poltergeist that proceeds to haunt the house. The main character (played by Rich himself) watches in horror as his home is overcome by the evil spirit, which terrifies his wife and corrupts their eight-year-old son.

Do you get it yet? Christians think porn is evil, and now one of them has made a film where they cast the porn literally as a demon to remind everyone that they should be keeping their hands away from their genitals.

Here is the trailer:

Once I’d stopped masturbating to the trailer, I did a little research and, guess what? It turns out Rich is also a comedian who travels the country telling God-approved zingers to hordes of giggling Christians. You can check out his promo reel here if you like, but if you don’t have time, it’s basically like@NormalTweetGuy saying things about dinosaurs (oh, so suddenly they did exist) and how long women take to shower. (Why do men complain about this? Would you rather women walked around smelling like shit?)

I decided to give Rich a call. I’m not 12 and have ready access to my own supply of toilet roll and internet, and I wanted to know why he’d made this condescending film to tell me what I should and shouldn’t be doing to myself.

VICE: Hi Rich, it’s Josh from VICE. I get that it can be kinda soul-destroying sometimes, but do you really think porn is a source of evil?
Rich: Some people agree with it, some people don’t. But in the church, there’s been a lot of cases where people have struggled with it. People don’t understand that families break up over it. It can be an addiction for some people.

Have you had any personal experience with porn addiction?
Yeah, well, my dad… the movie was kind of based on my dad. I found his dirty magazines and videos when I was a kid, about ten or 11, that was kinda my first experience. It distorted my reality of what sex should be and what sex was. I’m married now and my sex life is fine, but it’s nothing like you see on a porn tape.

So you don’t look at porn any more?
It wasn’t like I was looking at it all the time. You would look at it with friends or, you know… it was weird.

Actually that does sound a bit weird.
When I was younger we’d go to clubs in LA, and a couple of guys would look at porn before we went out just to get hyped to try to meet girls.

Do you still masturbate?
I haven’t masturbated in quite a while, if I’m honest.

Was it to porn?
No, it was in my head. With my imagination.

What’s up with the box of porn in the film? There aren’t any naked people on it.
Well, we didn’t want someone who was struggling with porn to come see the movie and all of a sudden see naked pictures up there and it be because of us that he has a relapse.